Friday, September 22, 2006

The Chaucer Pubbe Gagge - by Bill Bailey

Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe,
And gleefullye their handes did rubbe,
In expectatione of revelrie,
For 'twas the houre known as happye.
Greate botelles of wine did they quaffe,
And hadde a reallye good laffe.
'Til drunkennesse held full dominione,
For 'twas two for the price of one.
Yet after wine and meade and sac,
Man must have a massive snack,
Great pasties from Cornwalle!
Scottishe eggs round like a balle!
Great hammes, quaile, ducke and geese!
They suck'd the bones and drank the grease!
(One fellowe stood all pale and wan -
for he was vegetarianne)
Yet man knoweth that gluttonie,
Stoketh the fyre of lecherie,
Upon three young wenches round and slye,
The fellowes cast a wanton eye.
One did approach, with drunkene winke:
"'Ello darlin', you fancy a drink?",
Soon they caught them on their knee,
'Twas like some grotesque puppettrie!
Such was the lewdness and debaucherie -
'Twas like a sketch by Dick Emery!
(Except that Dick Emery is not yet borne -
So that comparisonne may not be drawn).
But then the fellowes began to pale,
For quail are not the friende of ale!
And in their bellyes much confusione!
from their throats vile extrusione!
Stinking foule corruptionne!
Came spewinge forth from droolinge lippes,
The fetide stenche did fille the pubbe,
'Twas the very arse of Beelzebubbe!

Thrown they were, from the Horne And Trumpette,
In the street, no coyne, no strumpet.
Homeward bounde, must quicklie go,
To that ende - a donkey stole!
Their handes all with vomit greased,
(The donkey was not pleased,
And threw them into a ditche of shite!)
They all agreed:
"What a brillant night!"


and seriously - a little bit on Chaucer's English:

Although Chaucer's language is much closer to modern English than the text of Beowulf, it differs enough that most publications modernize (and sometimes bowdlerize) his idiom. Following is a sample from the prologue of the "Summoner's Tale" that compares Chaucer's text to a modern translation.

A nice hypertext version of the Canterbury Tales.

From the BBC «Click Online»

Everyone who's ever learned to speak English, whether as a first language or not, will know how hard it is to get your head round. All those words which sound so similar, but which are spelled completely differently. I know many people who rely on spell checkers to make sure everything is correct before it's published. If you do the same, remember, they're pretty mindless - as this cautionary tale we received from an anonymous viewer shows.

Owed two a Spell Chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee four two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong
Eye have run this poem threw it
am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Martha Snow, from The Funny Times

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Vivian Stanshall

Vivian was along with Neil Innes the most prominent figure in Bonzo Dog Band (Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band) An interesting biography can be found here (wikipedia). His tribute page is here. As a connoisseur of Brit pop-culture, as I assume you are - you would be TOTALLY lost without some essential background information about Vivian and the Bonzos, as well as being a boring ignorant. So do yourself a favour - get enlightened! AND get even more than most, by seeing one of the Bonzos 40th anniversary-tour concerts!
(Vivian will not be attending, as he is indeed quite dead)

“Why can't I be different and unusual... like everyone else?” (Quote Stanshall)

Get a tidbit of Vivian's makings (Men Opening Umbrellas Ahead) here (RS-link)
Thanks to the Palestinian Light Orchestra blog.

Sunday, September 10, 2006


Senate Judiciary Committee Hearings; Zappa's testimony before the Maryland State Legislature Feb. 14. 1986. Here (YouTube)
During Tipper Gore's crackdown on dirty rock lyrics, Zappa found himself thrust into the role of first amendment spokes-musician, and he handled it expertly, confounding people like Novak with his direct, articulate approach to free speech and government censorship. But Zappa's ire is directed not at Novak, but at John Lofton, (at the time) a columnist for Reverend Sun Myung Moon's Washington Times.
Lofton is practically frothing at the mouth, at one point even ridiculing Zappa's stated interest in getting young people to register to vote, and Zappa quips that he actually likes Novak more than Lofton. Frank Zappa on CNN Crossfire 1986. Here (YouTube) Here (mov download 50mb)

Little Georgie's Energy Plan

Monday, September 04, 2006

Friday, September 01, 2006

Buckethead meets Hieronymus Bosch

Buckethead is the stage name of Brian Carroll, an Avant-Garde musician and composer who has released a huge number of solo albums as well as collaborations with other musicians. He is probably best known for his time with Guns N' Roses. His music touches on many genres, notably thrash metal, funk, ambient and electronica. From his 2004 album The Cuckoo clock of Hell, you can see the video of Spokes for the Wheel of Torment (YouTube) or download it here (mov). It really brings life (or death (sic)) to the paintings of Mr. Bosch.